My heart beats vehemently against my chest, almost ripping my ribs apart. My breathing gets heavier and I look around to see everything happening in a jiffy. Amidst the swarms of people hustling and bustling all at once, I look forward to spot my train which is yet to arrive.
Given my very rare train-traveling experiences, I constantly look at others around me, trying to figure out how they manage to remain calm and peaceful amidst the incessant noise that is deafening to my ears. Everything around me was calm, except my heart. A flight of steps to take me up and down with a bag to carry; and then, comes a series of strange thoughts that keep me occupied for the next hour or so.
Sometimes, it’s interesting to think your mind can think so much in a matter of seconds, process everything and still make sense. A strange analogy envelops me in a matter of seconds.
My eyebrows are sparkling with sweat..
Each drop of sweat fears a reprimand, maybe? The time has come after all, for this soul to meet its end, depart from this motionless body and unravel the final abode all alone. It’s probably cursing the actions of the limbs for letting it suffer all alone? Will it pass the test or fail forever?
“So whoever does an atom’s weight of good will see it
And whoever does an atom’s weight of evil will see it. “ (Az-Zalzalah, 99:7-8)
With every heart beat, blood was rushing though my veins.. I could almost feel my ears throbbing..
Has my heart finally realized it’s going to meet its Creator? Is it leaping with joy or fear, I wonder?
“Hearts, that Day, will tremble” (An-Naziat, 79:8)
One bag of clothes seemed too heavy for my hands to carry… How would I carry my burdens of sins and bad deeds (intentional or unintentional) on the Day of Judgment, without a helping hand of course
“…And no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another…” (Al-‘Isra, 17:15)
Or would it be heavy with good deeds making the entire process a pleasure? What if it’s filled with deeds that would fill me with remorse and misery?
So many faces around me doing the stuff they are supposed to do..
Would it be the same on the Day of Judgment when I would stare at the whole of mankind, with emotions of fear, anger and hatred that would eat every single sense and thought in my mind and heart. Would it be a day when I would regret listening to some people when they were backbiting? Would I regret for having remained in silence when I should have spoken out and defended the innocent? Would I look at my friends and be glad that I spent this dunya in their company? Would I look at my own parents and siblings, and feel a strange sense of loneliness engulfing from within. So familiar, yet so distant like strangers?!
“On the Day a man will flee from his brother[Some] faces, that Day, will be bright –
And his mother and his father
And his wife and his children.” (‘Abasa, 80: 34-36)
Laughing, rejoicing at good news.
And [other] faces, that Day, will have upon them dust.
Blackness will cover them. (Abasa, 80: 38-41)
The city looks so familiar, yet so strange
Would the Day of Judgment also carry the same atmosphere? Earth..the same planet which I traversed all my life would appear familiar yet painstakingly strange.
“On the Day the earth and the mountains will convulse and the mountains will become a heap of sand pouring down.” (Al- Muzzammil: 73:14)
People rush to catch their seats even though their tickets have already been pre-booked..
I wonder if mankind would rush or be forced to rush in the same manner on the Day of Judgment to see which way their seats are placed: hellfire or paradise: eternal gloom or eternal bliss?
Minutes, days and sometimes even months of preparation goes into planning while traveling to another city or country…
How much have I planned for my ultimate journey. The tickets for that journey were confirmed even before I was created. It’s just waiting to happen. Yes, I don’t know the departure date, but I do know I’ll have to take that journey one day. It could be centuries from now or even the very next second; what have I packed for this journey? How much have I planned?
Choosing the best clothes, accessories … check my list..check and re check
Have I chosen the best deeds to be presented on the Day of Judgment and be proud of having them written against my name? What if some important deeds were not packed, because of missed chances or misused chances? Maybe a small amount of charity would have weighed heavily in my favor. Maybe feeding an orphan or a poor person would have titled the scales in my favor?
“Have you seen him who denies the religion? He is the one who harshly rebuffs the orphan and does not urge the feeding of the poor. So woe to those who do prayer, and are forgetful of their prayer, those who show off and deny help to others.” (Surat al-Ma’un: 1-7)
How many small deeds have I missed?
Medicines packed just in case I fall sick..even though you would easily get medicines in whichever corner of the globe you go to..
What about medicines for the hereafter? What’s going to save our scars and wounds, the physical and mental scars inflicted upon us by our sins on the Day of Judgment? But I had the medicine right there, but failed to take heed. The ultimate medicine: Salah (prayer)..the best antidote for any type of sin in your heart big or small…I struggled to take it five times a day, how costly would that be today on a Day when no recompense would be allowed and no time to postpone the judgment?
“And perform Salat, at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night (i.e. the five compulsory Daly prayers). Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds. That is a reminder (an advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice).” (Huod: 114)
The train starts moving, the trees blur out and my thoughts are snapped back into reality. But have I prepared enough for the ultimate journey on the Day Of Judgment? I’m so not sure….