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10 Things You Need to Stop Doing Today: Self Help Tips for Muslim Youth

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It’s unbelievable how much you have to go through as a 21st century Muslim youth.

From the pings to the blings; social media to traditional media; family pressure to pop culture, things can get really overwhelming and suffocating. Sometimes, it feels like nobody really understands your tears, fears and frustrations, from your parents to teachers; siblings to relatives; colleagues and even friends, when all you are trying to do is be happy, gain inner peace and find your path in life.

Hold on. There’s no need to scream, stress or lose focus.

Struggles are a part of life.

“Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We believe” and they will not be tried? But We have certainly tried those before them, and Allah will surely make evident those who are truthful, and He will surely make evident the liars.” (Surah Al-‘Ankabut, 29: 2-3)

Self help is the first aid you need to get through that haze of confusion and overwhelm that life presents from time to time. With the right tools, you can stop to reboot internally, then shift and rehearse with your actions externally.

You need to stop those things that are tampering with your mind, body and soul, and then reboot. Next, make a shift and start those things that will uplift and change you positively. You should keep rehearsing with those positive things – turning them into habits.

Start helping yourself today while remembering that all help comes from Allah SWT alone.

Start helping yourself today while remembering that all help comes from Allah SWT alone.

Regarding Your Belief

STOP…

1. Starving your soul.

Start:

– Knowing Allah SWT through His names and attributes.
– Connecting with Him through constant remembrance.
– Being conscious of Him at all times.
– Worshiping Him as though you see Him.

2. Worrying about the future and unknown.

Start:
– Praying salatul Istikhara when faced with choices and decisions.
– Putting your trust in Allah SWTalone.
– Accepting that you have no control over the future and unknown matters like death.
– Focusing on the present and counting your blessings.

Blog_Dec01_Inside3. Having doubts about the truth of Islam.

Start:
– Praying for absolute guidance from Allah SWT, your creator and creator of the heavens and earth.
– Investing your time in seeking beneficial knowledge.
– Taking time out for self reflection.
– Reading the Qur’an while pondering its message.

4. Worshiping your whims and desires.

Start:
– Redefining your life goals in line with the higher purpose of your creation.
– Pondering on the final end, death and eternal life that comes after it.
– Thinking about the reward for self control and submission to Allah SWT.
– Thinking about the consequence of submitting to your lowly desires and shaytan.

5. Corrupting your heart.

Start:
– Safeguarding your eyes, ears, tongue and other organs from sinning and disobedience.
– Harbouring positive feelings and thoughts of Allah SWT.
– Making dhikr and supplications for a sound heart upon tawheed and fitrah.
– Using the Quran and Sunnah as your reference manuals.

Regarding Your Actions

STOP…

6. Complaining.

Start:
– Saying alhamdulillah and being truly thankful in your heart, speech and actions.
– Counting your blessings daily.
– Looking at those below you in possessions.
– Striving for taqwa, excellence and improvement.

7. Using negative words.

Start:
– Using positive words.
– Keeping company of positive people.
– Reading stories of the life of Prophet Muhammad saw – he is your model for perfect character.
– Thinking that a perceived negative outcome may actually be a blessing in disguise.

8. Associating with sinners and the disobedient.

Start:
– Productive hobbies like writing, knitting, gardening, swimming, archery and horse-riding.
– Attending circles of knowledge.
– Contributing to positive projects and causes or starting your own.
– Keeping only righteous company; those that consistently remind you of your purpose on planet earth.

9. Copying the disbelievers

Start:
– Learning about the sunnah and follow in the footsteps of Rasul saw.
– Taking pride in your Islamic identity.
– Reading about Islamic history and learn about the true Islamic culture.
– Developing your own unique sense of self worth as a Muslim and believer.

10. Gossiping and backbiting

Start:
– Investing in silent moments if you have nothing important to say.
– Productive habits like reading and journaling.
– Calling to the truth with your words – engage in dawah.

– Keeping your tongue moist with the remembrance of Allah SWT.

There you go.

Self help tips to keep your mind, body and soul in sync with your fitrah.

Self help is about guiding yourself to acknowledge those positive changes you need and building the courage to live it. This type of help will redirect you to the natural state of fitrah as Allah SWTcreated His servants in – pure and surrendering to Him alone.

Do not simply try to stop something – whether a bad habit or a cultural practice; instead pick up a new habit and embrace it with daily practice, prayers, commitment and discipline.

Your youth will come with its own share of struggles, confusion, temptations and negative experiences. And so will it carry positive experiences and life changing opportunities.

Opportunities to help yourself develop, make positive changes and excel. Do not let it pass you by – grab these opportunities, utilize them and let them make all the difference in your life. You can change your life with these actionable self help tips.

A change geared towards momentum and motivation, forming productive habits and achieving great goals.

Stop one thing TODAY to change your life FOREVER.

‘”…Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves…” (Ar-Ra’d 13: 11)

Please let us know your comments and suggestions in the comments section below. :)

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If you liked the article, do leave a comment down below

67 Responses

  1. mala_gem@yahoo.com'
    shumaila

    JzakAllah
    Really informative ..
    Suffering from anxiety & depression
    Sometimes v know v r behaving foolishly still dont have control ,,,,Even cant seek guidance as its embarrassing to share
    Plx keep on guiding

    1. abdussamadbello4real@gmail.com'
      ibn yusuf

      Try to be firm, and make Tawbah(repentance), actually my best advice is trying to memorise the QURAN from start to finish, Its an amazing journey that will transform and elevate you, You will forget depression soon enough.
      Also a watch or listen to reminder day,like famous islamic channels;dailyreminder,digitalmimbar,mercifulservant et.c
      join a charity and volunteer in community organisations
      you can also try http://www.islamiconlineuniversity.com/counseling/counsel.php

      1. Wa iyyak Shumaila.

        All help comes from Allah (swt), so turn to Him in humility and submission. Try to seek professional help as well from Muslim counsellors as recommended by ibn Yusuf with the IOU counselling service.

        And do not feel embarrassed to ask for help; we are encouraged as Muslims to seek help when we don’t know.

        Keep reading, learning and seeking Allah’s assistance.

  2. abdussamadbello4real@gmail.com'
    ibn yusuf

    masha Allah I am saving it as a pdf file, some of these have helped me alot, ill keep working on others.
    )Dua
    )Fasting
    )salah in jamaah
    )qiyamllayl (mid night prayer)

  3. omarbach99@gmail.com'
    Omar Bachole

    Masha Allah I appreciate for the well summarized important ways to follow for every Muslim men and Women.

    If you can brother send me a dua recited when far from home and from your family. Thank you
    Jazaakumullahu kheir

    1. Yes indeed Shabaz.

      Hifdh, contemplating on the meanings of the verses of Qur’an and making supplications should be a part of our daily worship acts. Alhamdulillah, our prayer times offer us the opportunity to establish this routine quite easily.

  4. abdulrajash@gmail.com'
    Abdul Azizi Rajab

    Ma’Sha’Allah, And keep trying to stay on the right course. Know that you can always try again and again untill you attain the mercy of Allah s. W. T.

  5. uswahwajahatalikhan1@gmail.com'
    uswah

    i like this post sister .
    Jazakillah.I really needed guidence for peace of mind and heart.sometimes we dont know why are we thinking to much and why such conflicting and disturbing thoughts are coming in our mind.but in the end only Allah will give us that peace we wanted.

  6. Ahmad9icee@gmail.com'
    Ahmad Ibrahim Muhammad

    Masha Allah, its really heartwarming. Assalamu Alaikum ya sheik, sometimes I in personal really find it difficult to adopt a certain ethics or changes 4 a long time after been preached about. what could I do to help myself change for life entirely? Assalamualaikum

    1. Masha Allah Tabbarak Allah.

      Change starts with having sincere intention and resolve to change; then putting in conscious effort to achieve what you want ~ with duas and assistance from fellow Muslims.

      Don’t try to change everything about you overnight, instead look for one thing to focus on and start there. With determination and constant striving, you will get there.

      And even when you get distracted, try to get back on track and keep checking yourself. With Allah (swt) is all help.

      Wassalam ‘alaykum

  7. Pinkyabasheer2013@gmail.com'
    Pinky asheer

    Alhamdulillaah… jzkallah khayr. ..very well summarised for an effective action plan…Allah
    help us all to improve day by day and achieve success here n hereafter. .aameen yaa rabbal aalameen.

  8. farihatabassum98@gmail.com'
    Fariha Tabassum

    Jazakallau Khairan………… indeed an inspiring and helpful post, as always.

    Sister, I have a question that I wish you will help me by answering, in-sha-Allah…………what does Islam suggest us about the worldly knowledge like University degrees?

    1. Alhamdulillah. I’m glad that you find the post inspiring and helpful dear sister Fariha.

      Degrees are fine, as you can see from the IOU platform which offers a wide range of programs from Bachelors to Masters and hopefully PhDs soon insha Allah.

      As a Muslimah, your goal should be that the degree brings you closer to Allah (swt) and serves as a means of worship. Our Ummah needs Muslim educators, entrepreneurs, doctors, creatives and IT specialists among a wide range of other professionals/ experts. Or don’t you think so?

      So seek knowledge that will benefit you in this world and the next, and will empower you and the Ummah as well. Let’s change our Ummah through education. Baarakallahu feek.

  9. emansur007@gmail.com'
    Almunsur

    Jazakhallahu Jhairan for this piece. I practice virtually everything here except observing night prayers. I still find it difficult to wake up in the middle of the night to observe qiyamulayl. Kindly help with tips. Ma’asalam.

  10. non.medley@gmail.com'
    Natrah

    Thank you very much for this article.
    This is very appreciated.
    Life as a Muslim is very beautiful but before seeing that beauty every Muslim would need to pass its gate; youth.

    All tips mentioned are true in their effectiveness, I hereby testified as one of the youth generation.

    Any sisters wished to chat and share things with me is most welcome. Let’s be penpal and talk about life – preferably life as a Muslim :)

    (non.medley@gmail.com)

  11. tanzid13@gmail.com'
    Tanzid

    Masha ALLAH. May ALLAH Swt rewards you. I saved your article without your permission.
    I’ve seen many comments which will definitely help us to do better. I wanna add few things beside all, what I do every night just before going to bed are as following:

    a. I ask forgiveness for my known & unknown faults of that day.
    b. I forgive everybody, if I was hurt by someone.
    c. If I hurt anybody, they might want my reward on the day of judgement. That’why I ask ALLAH Swt to give me that amount of reward for any of my good deeds so that I can repay them on the day of judgement.

    Regards

  12. jesimohmed@yahoo.com'
    Mohammad jesmin

    Masha Allah.
    Dr sister you shared some valuable lines, may Allah bless you and wish you to continue your writings.
    Jazakallahu hairan

  13. Ibtehal@hotmail.co.uk'
    Ibtehal

    Mashaa’Allah, really good reminder and useful tips for the youth. I think people should take one point and try to implement it over a period of a month, and since there are ten points, it’ll take a good 10 months to get into these new habits since each point takes a while to really embed into your life.

  14. chowahnawar@gmail.com'
    Chowah

    Thanks for this.It’s very helpful.But I have a question.When it is said productive hobby,is painting one of them?Thank you in advance.

  15. mustapha.ba73@gmail.com'
    Mustafa Brahimouaissa

    Masha’Allah; Jazaka’Allah kheiran…This is very true, we need to recognise our weaknesses and work towards replacing them by doing good deeds as per the very teachings of Islam. Thank you for sharing these 10 tips with such interesting explanation.

  16. rasheedilenla@yahoo.com'
    Rasheed

    Jazzakhun Lahu Haeran, what a perfect reminder. There are all useful and essential part of enhancing a better duniya and ahira for mankind if properly adhere strictly to.

  17. sadaatpakistani@gmail.com'
    Syed

    Allah may keep us all on the right path. Very comprehensive article, Allah may increase your research & knowledge for the benefit of Muslims. ……Aameen
    Jazak Allah o Khair.

  18. ziyakh@gmail.com'
    Zia

    Nice article, helpful for positivev thoughts. We shouldn’t forget Allah and must think of Him in each and every event of daily life…… may Allah help us always Ameen

  19. umarmala20@Yahoo.com'
    umar

    Assalamu alaikum warahamatullah wabarakatuhu jazakallahu bil kharan wattaufiqan sister & may almighty ALLAH help us to use it nice article keep doing it.

  20. atl_bolla@hotmail.com'
    A proud sister

    Subhaan Allah this is exactly what I needed to read. I have been dealing with a lot in life lately. I have not been proud of my actions or the type of things I do but Alhamdulilah Allah showed me that my actions are bad and now I am at better place in every way possible. This part stuck out to me the most ‘”…Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves…” (Ar-Ra’d 13: 11). Finally I am a living proof of this quote. My mind set use to be that hey I’m muslim and thats good enough. My actions were not muslim at all. I am so happy Allah SWT put me through what he put me through because it was the only way I understood how bad my actions are. Alhamdulilahx100 times.

  21. coolmady62@yahoo.com'
    Madiha

    Very inspiring sister mashaAllah keep up the good work ,this is a master piece of writing Jazakillah khair for the tips really helpful

  22. uge.gate@yahoo.com'
    Abdulsemed

    Masha Allah. it is very important 10 points. i read it more than 3 time to not forget all points. i need more this kind of motivation. keep it up sis. may Allah reward you everything u need.

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