Turning to Allah to Prevent Gossiping

How do we turn to Allah to seek help in preventing Gossiping?

There is an organization named “Alcoholic Anonymous”, and they talk about almost exactly the same things. What is it for? It is for drug addicts. They have certain characteristics and behaviors in the way to stop the drug addicts. After the first step, understanding ourselves, they didn’t say to turn to Allah, but they said to get help. You cannot stop the addicts by yourself. So, you need to turn to a higher power. And because we are muslim, we need to turn to Allah.

We need to get help to stop gossip. Who is the greatest help? It is Allah.

You alone do we worship and from you alone do we seek help[1]

Ask Allah for help. Beg Allah for help. Get up at night for tahajjud and turn to Allah for help. Cry like a baby, as Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said,

“If you can’t cry then make yourself cry”. [2]

Force ourselves to cry, think about everything can make us to cry. And Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) always said,

“O Allah I seek refuge in You from eyes which don’t fill with tear”. [3]

Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) also said that,

“The eyes which always fill with tear will not be touched by the hellfire.” [4]

Of course the tears are because of fear to Allah, fear of Allah’s displeasure. We need to force ourselves to cry in our prayer to Allah. We will automatically cry when we turn to Allah and beg his help, because this is the expression of sincerity.

We also need to repent to Allah. We need to turn to Allah in repentance. Of course the repentance is not only saying “Astaghfirullah” after gossiping. We need to say it and intend to totally give up the gossip. This is the true repentance. One, who repents because of the sin, is like the one without sin. The repentance should be sincere and it is not sincere if we are still doing it. It has no meaning if we still keep repeating it even if you still say “Astaghfirullah” after doing it. Give up saying the gossip and give up listening to it. We need to think and feel bad about all of our gossip done in the past and repent all of it. Repentance is remorse. We feel remorse, we feel bad about what we have done. If we don’t feel bad, we will easily do it again in the future.

We are human beings, we might slip. It doesn’t mean that if we repent from a sin than we will not do it again. We may do it again someday. But when we fall back, we need to get out from it. If we fall back again, we get out again. And each time, it will become less. If we fall back to that again and it becomes more than before, it means that we are lost.

And when backbiting involves others, we should go to them and ask for forgiveness and express our regret. However scholars say, if you tell somebody and the consequences are far greater and they may cut the ties with you, then you just need to repent to Allah. But if the consequences are not that great, they may upset but they will understand, therefore you have to ask for their forgiveness.

References:

[1] [Qur’an 1:4]

[2] [Sunan ibn Maajah, hadeeth number 4196]

[3] [This is not a hadeeth. The narration was mentioned by al-Maawardi in Adab ad-Deen wa ad-Dunyaa without an isnaad.]

[4] [Jaشmi` at-Tirmidhi, hadeeth number 1639]

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