Well, it’s proven more than a million times that “Love Before Wedding” (LBW) is haram by the scholars of Islam. Therefore, the intention behind penning this article is to help those who are already in love. Most of the people need some positive motivation to step out of the zone of love, which they have established before marriage. If you are one of them; this article is for you.
A quick note: We must realize that Islam does not forbid love between a man and a woman. The garden of love in Islam has a gate and it can be opened only with the key of marriage. The people who enter the garden legally are promised love and affection from Allah Himself.
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought” (Ar-Rum, 30:21)
If we try to break into the garden without the key; we will but surely wrongdoers. One of the blessings Allah has given humans is the feeling of guilt. This feeling tortures human souls when they err and transgress. If you are in love outside the bonds of marriage, the feeling of guilt will definitely edge you to break free from the shackles of sins.
Make it halal
Try your best to make your love halal by getting married at the earliest. Talk to your peer and take this to the elders in your families and tie the knot. If you fail to make things work and are struggling to get rid of this haram relationship, here are a few tips for you.
Decide it once and for all
You are already playing around the bush. You have saved his/ her number with a fake name, you hide the communication from your family and friends, your lies have piled up and you have become timorous. You are faking everything about you so you are shaking to face everything around you. This miserable status of yours is in and of itself enough to prove that you are doing something wrong.
With or without your intention, you have already made it your cup of tea. Now it’s you who must decide not to taste it further.
Prophet said: “Actions are but by intentions and each person will have but that which he intended.” 1
Eliminate those so-called Islamic excuses!
“We learn Islam together”
“He wakes me up for Tahajjud”
“Because of her, I started praying Fajr”
“He motivated me to memorize Du’as”
“We have made plans to make Umrah as soon as we marry”
Really? So you want a Non- Mahram to practice your Deen!
Allah will surely ask you how you helped your mother to make wudu, how you gave da’wah to your non-Muslim neighbor and what you taught your little sibling. But He will never ever ask you how you practiced Islam with a non Mahram.
Therefore, let’s not fake it anymore. Islamic excuses are not at all valid because these affairs in and of themselves have no room in Islam.
Talk to your partner in crime
You must talk to him or her and end your relationship. Allah will open the doors for you to live happily ever after. If you believe that you can cease your affair with a single discussion; you might prove yourself wrong. Chances are high that your peer will emotionally confuse you when you bring up the topic of break up. He or she might remind you of the golden old times you shared together. He/she might try to make you believe that you were born for them or they might cast terror into your hearts by blackmailing you.
Always remember the story of our role models. They poured the alcohol barrels out as soon as Allah prohibited it for them to the extent that the streets were the flowing with alcohol! 2 Emotional battles, hormonal pains, feelings and so called commitments should never stand in your way. Be strong.
Shift + Delete
Yes, you read it right. Delete your peer permanently from your system! Disconnect from him/her physically and mentally. Most of the people develop an inner belief that marrying someone else than the one they loved is like zina. But, the fact of the matter is that love without marriage has certain attributes of zina whereas leaving the sin is an action rewarded by Allah . Always remember that Allah never wants you to show your loyalty towards a sin!
Repent a sincere repentance
Tawbah is the cleanser of all sins we do. Allah out of His immense mercy has allowed us to make repentance after we err. Tawbah is a way of life. It’s not a time based job, which starts with Basmalah and ends with a du’a. Your life should reflect tawbah. You must make sure that you have left no loopholes. You must vow to Allah that you will never ever repeat it again.
Say NO to post-breakup syndromes!
Jealousy is a dangerous disease. This might attack you in different forms. If you are a male, you will get inclined to destroy the future of your so called ex’s future. You will get motivated to stalk her new routine and get details of her new plans. If you are a female, your jealousy will kindle you to take revenge. Also, you might start stalking him. This is where you have to take control over yourself. Always remember you have left the sin for the sake of Allah and thus, nothing about your past affair should bother you. Post breakup traumas can harm your own self and others too. Therefore, be clear about your vision.
What other suggestions do you readers have to help people get rid of this sin? Please share with us in the comments section below. 🙂